im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize