Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
