just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
