College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
