Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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