Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
