She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
