everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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