Whod you bang
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
