do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
