Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
After last night, I could never be a politician.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
