Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
