She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
