After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
