Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
