clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have fence marks all over my body
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
