were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
only if we run a train.
done.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
