just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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