There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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