I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
