if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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