Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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