I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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