You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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