Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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