Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
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His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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