Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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