i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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