I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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