Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
