I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
