They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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