I want to walk on stilts...naked
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
