I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
