So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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