Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
