he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Be still, my beating vagina.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
