Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
