I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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