He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
