I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
