but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
