The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think your dad took our porno
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
