Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
