he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
