oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize