I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize