I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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