I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
