____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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