She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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