dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
