I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
