He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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