the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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