You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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