I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
