You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
