glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
