i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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