My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
