haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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