just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
