Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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