I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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