...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
