but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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