i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
