At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
